Hello and welcome to SaltyRussianNews. This morning Badger-Man revealed his origin. This Russian hero has saved the world countless times. Now over to Timy with Badger-Man.
Thanks Charles! Well Badger-Man could you tell me about your story? Yes, it all happened when I was very young. As long as I rememeber I’ve always been a fighter. I was about ten months. My mom was casually standing in the park while feeding me a banana. It was tasty and a lovely afternoon. Suddenly she kneeled over and died!
I was choking on the banana. I had a strong mind but a weak body at that time. Then out of nowhere a badger came to the rescue saving my life. The badger then brought me to her home. Under the giant tree of wisdom. It was filled with seven badger pups. The badger Sarah that saved me then raisede me like the other pups. I was so happy. The pups became like brothers and sisters to me. I know started to feel funny. I had a gained a little power of the badgers. I noticed how great my power had become when I was about three years old.
One day my badger brother, named Marvin, ran against me, screaming watch out! I then saw the beast. It was the most fierce thug in the forest. His name was...John-Cena a huge grizzlybear, about 11ft tall (11ft=3 and a half meters). (DankMemesIntensifies) I realised that this was the perfect chance to test my POWER! He then put his fangs around my neck. But as always I was prepared and did a
R-K-O out of NOWHERE! After I had defeated the bear all the badgers praised me as their God!
My badger mum Sarah then showed me the secret art of badger-justururururu. After hard training Ibecame the Badger-Man. Then I woke up in the middle of the park naked almost not remembering a single shit. Mkay… That’s the most awesome story ever. Now over to James at the twin towers! THE END!!!
